I again leave you with the writings of my husband, Glenn, on a particular self development subject that he has written extensively about. He has kindly allowed me to share this piece with you…

“This subject is a particular favourite of mine and one that I have written about numerous times. Heck, I have even done videos on this subject. Without doubt, it is one of the biggest fears we all suffer from. I probably would go as far as saying that the fear of what others think is a psychological pandemic that has, for centuries been running through human society.

Indeed, this particular fear is the biggest reason why many of us are not living the kind of life we want to. Maybe you would agree with me that before we started wearing visible face masks because of the Covid virus, we were already wearing invisible masks to hide our true selves and project to the world the face we believed people wanted to see. We keep opinions to ourselves, put our dreams on a back burner, just so that we don’t ROCK THE BOAT and keep people in our lives sweet and happy.

I honestly do not know where this fear came from, how it became engrained in human consciousness. Humans, deep down are caring beings and upsetting others and rocking the boat is the last thing any of us want to do. I kind of blame the norms that have been set in society. That taking risks is bad as well as thinking a certain way and having an opinion that you want to express.

I think overcoming this fear of what others think is a life skill, one similar to like learning to drive a car. Or ride a bike. Its not easy to do, but with practice, you get better at it. I admit, I am still bettering myself with regards how others see me, but I feel I have made great leaps and strides.

How else could I have written all the books I wanted to write, made the music I wanted to make and learn how to make videos?

People, mostly family and friends and co-workers laughed when I told them I was going to write my first novel, Illusions? Maybe which was over five years ago. They thought I was mad and that I would never succeed at it. But I was determined to prove my doubters wrong and in a way, the naysayers were my motivation for completing and publishing my book which had been on Amazon for the last five years. Since then, I have used the momentum created by that book to create more stuff, music albums, videos and now websites. Because I know what is possible. I know that what people think of me is none of my business. But I have that right, the right we all have, to express an opinion and not be afraid of what consequences result from that.

If you think my writing sucks, or don’t agree with my opinion, that’s okay. I’m still a work in progress, much like this website. The one thing that spurred me on to trying new things was the fear of regret. Because when you hold yourself back because of being afraid of what others think and never try, regret could well be the outcome.

Just imagine you were told that you only have a few days, weeks or months to live. Would other peoples opinions of you really matter?

I know we all want to be liked. We all want people to be happy. But in truth, as you probably already heard the saying go….you can’t please everyone all the time. Peoples moods are like the weather, sometimes sunny and sometimes rainy, and not everyone is going to like you. But that’s okay with me. Your own opinion is what matters first and foremost.

I have found, through experience that in reality, people don’t really give a stuffing. They are mostly too preoccupied with what goes on in their own lives to even notice. People only start caring if you have something that you can offer which can benefit their lives, be it a service or a product you produce. That’s what you call creating value in other people’s lives.

Just know that in one hundred years time the people whose opinions you fret about wont be here. It will be all new people.

So what are you waiting for?

Try that something you’ve always wanted to try. Say that something you wanted to say to that someone and get it off your chest. Go after your dreams. Because regret is poison. Its a whole lot worse than being a loser.”