It’s almost as prudent to recognize and respond to conflict as it is to feel the conflict itself. There can be no misunderstanding about conflict – it isn’t a sign of weakness to avoid conflict or to put up with conflict; any person who has learned to respond to conflict has an almost insurmountable advantage over others who allow their minds to explode at the thought of conflict. In almost every instance of conflict, you can find the person who is using conflict as a tool, creating conflict as a learning experience, a test, or a contest.

In other words, it is a sign that something is really, really wrong. I know this doesn’t seem to make any sense to you. But, if you don’t feel conflict, you can almost always be sure that somewhere inside of you conflict is going on. You can’t out-think conflict, and your conflict management skills really, really, really strengthen when you face it head on.

Conflict is a part of life for so many reasons. It isn’t focused on the person or plants that are involved, and where it can be perceived as negative, we have to be exceedingly clear on the real cause. The meaning and intent of conflict can be found in various definitions, but the most vital definition of conflict is the contentit understanding between people or teams.

A classic definition of conflict goes like this, “Something in the environment is at odds with something in the person’s or organization’s strategy.” The meaning of this statement is clear:

Change is NEVER your advantage when you focus on dealing with conflict. Let’s look at a few types of conflict.

There are three basic kinds of conflict, both in the workplace and outside the workplace, which fall into three realms:

1. “Conflict of Imagination.”
2. “Conflict of Ethics.”
3. “Conflict of Interest.”

Conflict of Imagination:

You have probably heard of the infamous four-minute mile race, which was discussed in an earlier article. If you recall one of the interesting angles which was talked about, it is that there was an enormous amount of conflict involved in this little triumph.

This conflict of imagination is the kind of conflict where you can’t “win” this sort of conflict. The runner begins the race and misses the mark by less than a second. The runner is furious with himself. The coach is furious with the runner. What will take place? The runner will “blame” himself because he “played silly” and missed the mark. After all, it is only a “second” and he wasn’t supposed to run a full race? Well, the runner probably won’t even complete the race, he would have finished.

Fortunately, the runner was on to something too. He found a way to his goal as he much as ran the full race. He cut the time in half on his next attempt. You should imagine how much force that could have produced if the runner had just let up on his first attempt. Conflicts of imagination always come with a little advantage.

Conflict of Ethic:

Let’s go back to the corporate example. There are people at the corporate setting who believe certain things, and like to prove it. These are the people who refuse to compromise with others; they don’t want to be flexible in their views; they believe there is no compromise; they believe they can find the “right way” to do it. Of course, when you spend time with like this, there is no opportunity to learn new things about the world, and in fact it becomes very depressing.

Conflict of Interest:

This is the kind of conflict where a sort of game usually ensues. Here, the “Interest” of one party always increases as it knows that things are going to change. So, the compromise goes on. It is not really much of a survival strategy, and the conflict can be very destructive.

Conflict of Interest is pretty much like the “Conflict of Imagination.” You know that if you let up on the original plan, someone is going to come along and essentially “create” it. Is this something you want to allow? In this life, you only get out of life what you put into it. In fact, don’t manager, parent, boss, or employee reject life. They want to second-guess right off the bat that they are doing the right thing.

You know in your heart that there is probably no “right” way to be in business. No doubt you can find yourself in conflict. It just makes life more fun when when something is at stake. So, there you are, you know what you want. You try another option, and it doesn’t look like what you expected. Now, you have to detach yourself from the goal.